#18 - Franklin's Mistress, Buffet's Partner & the Craziest Olympic Event Ever

+ Can Your Name Make You a Winner/Loser?

Hey everyone, I know it’s been a while… I hope you didn’t think “the SPAM guy” had thrown in his 🖊 and given up writing about random things…

Actually, I’d love it if even one of you wondered that, as it’d mean I was on your mind :)

I’m not Nigerian so please star it instead 😅 (cred: Ilya Stallone)

After the last issue, I felt rather drained and couldn’t muster up enough energy to write this issue. No doubt the effect of biting off more [projects] than one can realistically chew.

Then travelling resumed and it was delayed for another month, since I’m unable to sit down and focus on stuff when I’m away from the home base.

I wonder, are you the same?

So yeah, while I would’ve liked to say Ahoj from Prague, or Sveiki from Riga, or just a quick Hej from Stockholm, it was never gonna happen. 😅

Now without further ado…

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📖 Literature

Warren Buffet’s Advice on a Partner

I’ve started reading Poor Charlie's Almanack, a collection of speeches and decision making advice by legendary investor Charlie Munger.

The title is based on Poor Richard’s Almanack, a yearly almanac dispensing timeless advice published from 1732 to 1758 by Founding Father Benjamin Franklin, under the pseudonym of "Poor Richard" or "Richard Saunders”.

In the foreword of Poor Charlie's, his best friend and lifelong business partner, legendarier investor Warren Buffet, says the following after explaining how Charlie raised the stakes for the advice set out by Franklin:

In certain areas, however, Charlie has not sought to improve on Ben’s thinking. For example, Ben’s “Advice on the Choice of a Mistress” essay has left Charlie in the “I have nothing to add” mode that is his trademark at Berkshire annual meetings.

Now of course at this point I had to go and read that essay which was sure to be full of 18th century wit 😃 But first let’s carry on with Warren’s fantastic foreword…

As for myself, I'd like to offer some “Advice on the Choice of a Partner.” Pay attention.

Look first for someone both smarter and wiser than you are. After locating him (or her), ask him not to flaunt his superiority so that you may enjoy acclaim for the many accomplishments that sprang from his thoughts and advice. Seek a partner who will never second-guess you nor sulk when you make expensive mistakes. Look also for a generous soul who will put up his own money and work for peanuts. Finally, join with someone who will constantly add to the fun as you travel a long road together.

All of the above is splendid advice. (I've never scored less than an A in self-graded exams.) In fact, it's so splendid that I set out in 1959 to follow it slavishly. And there was only one partner who fit my bill of particulars in every way—Charlie.

In Ben's famous essay, he says that only an older mistress makes sense, and he goes on to give eight very good reasons as to why this is so. His clincher: "...and, lastly, they are so grateful."

Charlie and I have now been partners for forty-five years. I'm not sure whether he had seven other reasons for selecting me. But I definitely meet Ben's eighth criterion. I couldn't be more grateful.

Ben Franklin’s Advice on a Mistress

"Advice to a Friend on Choosing a Mistress" is a letter Franklin wrote in 1745 to a young man about sexual urges - that a cure for them is unknown and the proper solution is to take a wife. As final advice in case the recipient rejects the previous arguments, Franklin lists eight reasons why an older mistress is preferable to a young one. Here’s the short butchered version:

1. Because they have more knowledge and thus better conversation

2. Because when they cease to be handsome, they study to be good

3. Because there’s no risk of unwanted children

4. Because they have more experience and thus are more discreet

5. Because - and this one’s so hilarious you should really read the original - every upright animal starts losing fluids from the top, so they’re probably the same below the belt anyway 🤣🤣🤣¹

6. Because the sin is less

7. Because there’s no guilt

   8[thly and Lastly] They are so grateful!!

The original letter can be found here and anyone in want of a good laugh and masterful English should read it. 😉

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🤼‍♂️ Sports

The Craziest Olympic Event Ever

Given the Olympics just passed, and the great reception I got when I wrote of the longest Olympics marathon, I thought it a good chance to write about the craziest…

In the 3rd edition of the Summer Olympics in St. Louis 1904 (officially known as the “Games of the III Olympiad”) a marathon took place that included:

• drinking poison 💉

• dodging traffic 🚘

• stealing fruit 🍎

• and even hitchhiking 😂

Yes, the games were nothing like the streamlined and performance-optimised spectacles we see nowadays. This was 120 years ago and it was so hard to even get there that only 10% of athletes were from outside the U.S. and Canada! 🤦‍♂️

The 40km race started at 3 pm (instead of the morning), in soaring heat (32°C) and humidity. The course was also not cleared of obstacles, with the runners having to constantly dodge cross-town traffic, delivery wagons, railroad trains, trolley cars and even people walking their dogs. And if all that wasn’t enough, the official rode in vehicles ahead of and behind the runners, kicking up dust clouds. 🌪

John Lordon, winner of the 1903 Boston Marathon, starting vomiting wildly and gave up after 10 miles. Sam Mellor, winner of the 1902 Boston Marathon, also gave up after 14.5 miles after being overcome by dust.

Another near-fatality was William Garcia who was found lying on the road along the marathon course unconscious, with severe internal haemorrhaging caused by breathing in the dust clouds created by the race officials' cars. 😱

The first to arrive at the finish line was Frederick Lorz, who took a picture with Alice Roosevelt, daughter of then-U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt. He was about to be awarded the 🥇 when it came out that after suffering cramps after 9 miles, he’d dropped out of the race and hitched a ride back to the stadium in a car, waving at spectators and runners alike during the ride. When the car broke down at the 19th mile, he re-entered the race and jogged across the finish line. 😂 He was banned for only six months after it turned out he was just playing a joke and hadn’t intended to defraud. The next year Lorz won the 1905 Boston Marathon (without a car).

Then there was Cuban postman Félix “Andarín” Carvajal. He reportedly lost all his money gambling in New Orleans and had to walk and hitchhike to St. Louis. The 5’ 1” man appeared at the starting line in a white, long-sleeved shirt; long, dark pants; a beret; and a pair of street shoes. Legend has it that one fellow Olympian took pity, found a pair of scissors and cut Carvajal’s trousers at the knee.

The Cuban was the only runner not from the U.S., Greece and South Africa.

Not having eaten in 40 hours, he saw some spectators eating peaches and asked for one. When they declined he stole two playfully and ran away. Later, he stopped off in an orchard to eat some apples, which turned out to be rotten. The rotten apples caused him to have stomach cramps so he had to lie down and take a nap. Despite his discomfort and the pause, Carvajal still managed to finish 4th.

Of note were also South African entrants, Len Taunyane and Jan Mashiani from the Tswana tribe, the first Black Africans to participate in the modern Olympics.

They were there as part of the Union of South Africa’s World’s Fair exhibit and entered the race at the last minute. They finished ninth and twelfth; this was a disappointment, since Taunyane was chased nearly a mile off course by wild dogs! 🐕‍🦺

Jan Mashiani and “Len Tau”

In the end it was English-born American Thomas Hicks that led the 32 starters from the beginning who won the race… but he had some “aid”. 10 miles from the finish, Hicks was leading by 1.5 miles, but had to be restrained from stopping and lying down by his trainers. They then gave him two doses of strychnine – a common rat poison, which stimulates the nervous system – mixed with brandy and egg white. He continued, hallucinating, and was barely able to walk. When he reached the stadium, his support team carried him over the line and had to be treated by four doctors.

One more dose of poison-egg-brandy and he’d have been the 1st dead champion 👀

In the end, unpaved roads choked with dust, (deliberate) minimal water sources and poor officiating combined to see the marathon end with the worst ratio of finishers to starters (14/32) and the slowest winning time (3:28:45), exactly 29 minutes slower than the second-slowest winning time.²

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🕳 Random Rabbit Hole

The Tale of Two Brothers Named Winner and Loser

Shout-out to

Louie Bacaj

for mentioning this story when we were talking about how there’s no magic pill for winning. 💊

In 1958, a guy in the projects of Harlem called Robert Lane, who had five children, named his sixth-born “Winner”.

Despite some claim that it was an experiment to see if a name could influence a child’s future, my research didn’t bring any such reason up. Just another Internet dramatisation after the fact, nothing more. 😄

But it does seem to be true that when the seventh baby came 3 years later, Robert asks the eldest daughter for a name and she says something like “Well, we’ve got a Winner, why don’t we have a Loser?”. And so Loser Lane it was.

As you can guess, this is only a story worth telling had the two brothers’ paths turned out the opposite of their names.

And indeed, Winner started a career in crime at 19 while Loser went to prep school on full scholarship. Winner racked up more than 30 arrests and eventually went to state prison for 2 years, while Loser - now called Lou - graduated college with high grades and (ironically) joined the NYPD, quickly being promoted to detective then sergeant.

The moral of the story is… to forget this story when naming your kids. 😁 Don’t pick a dumb name that can will be made fun of in school, and also try not to pick a super common name that can weaken their sense of self. ⚠

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🎶 Music

Back to some criminally-underrated Synthwave from one of my faves:

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Before you go…

If you enjoyed today’s post, could you SHARE it with a friend, family member or colleague? 😊

Thanks for reading, and remember, always dance with the one that brung ya!

Prince 🦊

1. No idea where he got this one from, or what kinda hippos they had in his day

2. The current world record is 2:00:35 set in 2023